Sandals Resort - Love Is All You Need ™

    In the late 1990's I was a travel agent. 
   At that time, it was the beginning of the end for about 90 percent of brick-n-mortar agencies. So I ended up at a lot of different agencies, in a very short time, due to the mass consolidating and closings. But before all of that, I was at an agency in Seattle located in the Trade Center, on the waterfront, directly across from the Spaghetti Factory restaurant.

 Now in 2018, the Trade Center is Zulily Headquarters, and the Spaghetti Factory is in the process of becoming apartments? Condo's? (Eye Roll) Either one, this is Seattle.

Ding ding!

  





Back then I was young and unmotivated as a worker. (As opposed to me now, old and unmotivated as a worker. )
  But my boss really believed in me, and decided one day, that I should become a specialist in something. She had Club Med, Neil had business travel. Voula had cruises...but what did I have? I had nothing but a brochure, and a keen eye for reading that brochure.
   So one day the boss asked me if I want to go to an all day Sandals seminar, because she thought Sandals could be MY specialty. Of course I said yes. It was all glitz and glamour at every Sandals location in the Caribbean. I knew this was what I had been waiting for...An over the top rich couple's private resort retreat! I was all in.

  The first thing they handed me when I arrived at the seminar, was a BIG binder, full of glossy photos of happy couples enjoying the all inclusive amenities. There were sections for each of the resorts...and I spent the rest of the day drinking the Sandals kool-aid.
 In the end, I really did learn a lot. And I hoped to one day use my new found knowledge to book the beautiful people into any one of the 8 Sandals, or 2 Beaches luxury resorts.

  But alas, shortly thereafter my boss sold the business. Beginning my transient crawl through the dregs of a dying industry.

  So that was the end of that...or so I thought. For some reason...that I do not remember. I wrote a little story. I think I wrote it and gave it to my boss after the seminar, to show her what I had learned. As time went by, it got thrown in a box and forgotten. I recently found it...and well it's pretty silly and maybe a little funny. So I thought I would share it. Keep in mind I have a very whimsical sense of humor, and apparently at the time a love of quotation marks - Jolie

Sandals - Love is all you need ™

Sandals Royal Jamaica - The first morning of my ultimate, all inclusive stay at Sandals Royal Jamaica begins as I open my eyes. Fabio, my fiancee and I, will be getting married right here today at 2 pm, but more on that later.

I look over at Fabio, who is still sleeping in our luxurious king bed, that is located in our "Grand Luxe Beachfront Room". As I look around the room, my eyes come to rest on each one of the special amenities that make our accommodations truly "ultra luxurious".

   The rooms are something special! King sized beds (on a request basis only at Beaches) a/c, hairdryers, telephones, private bath, and shower, safe, clock radio, and satellite t.v. (it's the 90's folks, having a clock radio was still a big thing.)

Of course, if my fiancee wasn't so cheap, we could have gotten "Exclusive Suite Concierge Service"' and I would have been privy to a "Suite Concierge Center V.I.P Check In" and special luggage handling, a private cocktail party, and a "Suite Concierge," who is completely dedicated to fulfilling all of my personal needs.

 (I wonder if he would have satisfied my need for...ooops! I forgot I'm getting married this afternoon.)

Anyway, I think they meant guaranteeing dinner reservations, arranging for local tours, and car rentals. Daily NY Times faxes are available. (ha ha faxes) As well as providing an in-room bar. 

Look at him sleeping so cheaply...I mean so peacefully. On second thought, with his drinking problem, maybe an in-room bar is not such a good idea.

 Anyway did I mention I'm getting married at 2pm?

Sandals had the perfect idea of combining the wedding and the honeymoon together to form "The Weddingmoon". 

My Sandals wedding consultant put together the perfect package for our budget. It includes the marriage certificate, and my own personal wedding coordinator (I didn't see much of her though, she kept saying she needed to measure Fabio for his tuxedo, and it didn't seem to matter to her that he had already brought one from home.) 

 Anyway, the weddingmoon package also includes our wedding reception, with decorated area.

2 tiered wedding cake, flower bouquet and boutonniere. 5 x 7 wedding photo, and professional video. And last but not least is a honeymoon candlelight dinner for myself, and my new husband, and continental breakfast the next morning. 

Now I'm not sure of the actual cost of ours, but I do know that the minimal cost of the package begins at 750.00.

I still have hours to kill before 2pm and this big lug is sleeping like a baby. 

Lucky for me Sandals has a fitness program that makes getting into shape fun...I think I'll start out at Sandal's lavish fitness center, with the state of the art equipment. 

Then I'll let all of my stress evaporate in the authentic wood-paneled steam room. After that I'll relax some more, in the invigorating swirling whirlpool. Or the oriental hot and cold plunge baths. 

If I hurry I'll have time for an aerobics class. Both regular and water. 

But before I work out, I think I'll go diving. It's great I hear. All Sandals dives are guided depth, ranging from 30 to 90 feet. And since I'm certified, I can dive twice daily. Fabio is not certified, so he can only dive once a day. 

It's so beautiful here! They even have wreck dives at most Sandals.

The Titanic! 

The only requirement is that I have to show proof of certification and they provide the equipment.

There's so much to do here, golf, windsurfing, snorkeling, kayaking, playing that giant chessboard...boy all this exercise is working up my appetite. 

Lucky for us Sandals is the ultimate in gourmet dining. Breakfast is buffet style. With made to order omelettes.

JK Not Sandals breakfast buffet

 

 Or for those of you who disco till dawn. (like Fabio) He can catch an a' la carte meal in " The Courtyard " from 8am to 11am. Or he can order room service, continental style only, from 7am to 10am. Lunch is also buffet style, but they do have entrees cooked to order. Lunch is served from 12:30pm until 2pm, and anytime snacks are served from 11am to 5pm, and 11pm to 3am, at "The Beach Grill".

I have to say here at Sandals, dinner is my favorite meal of the day. It's fun to get dressed up in formal, and semi formal attire, no beachwear, tank tops or bare feet allowed. 

(Fabio finally understood that he had to put a shirt on, but I had to speak very slowly, and repeat myself many times.) 

The coolest restaurant is the Bali Hai. It's decorated in ultra luxurious Indonesian style, and I had some uniquely extraordinary cuisine.

The other three restaurants are "The Regency (international) indoor, outdoor dining over looking the ocean."The Pavilion" (Jamaican) Exciting Jamaican cuisine in a tropical setting under the stars.

Last but not least is " The Courtyard" for grilled specialties, open rotisserie and salad bar.

The wonderfully informative staff here at Sandals said that there's going to be a lot of entertainment. (which is what I need because just sitting around watching Fabio flex his muscles is getting a little boring, know what I mean?) Anyway when we got here the general manager had a welcome party with cocktails. He told us that every night there's a show with Caribbean and international entertainment. There's always disco and karaoke.

 Later in the week, Sandals will host a charity bingo, and a charity casino night. 

Razzmatazz Night (I'm not sure what that is but I'm sure Fabio would love to help out) and 2 theme nights. Caribbean Night and Formal Night (oh great were going to have to have the shirt talk again.) 

Behold! my semi-formal attire.

Well between getting married, working out, enjoying all of the land and water sports. Going to the golf course, swimming, going to the ultra lavish beach. Eating exotic foods. Exploring Jamaica, getting blotto on all the free booze, and disco dancing till 3am. Sandals is one hell of an all inclusive vacation. Remember...

Love is all you need. ™ 

Jolie Shanoian

 

Thank you to everyone who picked up copies of the free e-books last week! 

E-book Blow Out Bonanza!!!!!! All 3 Books in the Whimsey Adventure Series, are free for a limited time only!

It's an EXPLOSION of FREE READING!

The Dates: March 21st - 25th 2018

The Time: Anytime day or night!

The Platform: E-Reader, Online, Digital, Kindle...However you want to say it!

I love The Whimsey Adventures! We all do! Wait isn't this supposed to be an E-book promotion? Why are we reading a paper book? 

But how do I find them??? 

                                          

Well that's easy! Follow the Links...

Click on "Kindle", and "Buy with one click". But no "buy"...Free! 


Book 1: 

 https://www.amazon.com/Whimsey-Aristocratic-Detective-Notorious-Adventures/dp/1500936723/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1521647566&sr=8-3&keywords=whimsey+the+aristocratic+detective



Book 2:

https://www.amazon.com/Whimsey-Aristocratic-Detective-Adventure-Adventures/dp/150103295X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1521647566&sr=8-2&keywords=whimsey+the+aristocratic+detective


Book 3:

https://www.amazon.com/Whimsey-Aristocratic-Detective-Ghosts-Highgate/dp/1537321730/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1521647566&sr=8-1&keywords=whimsey+the+aristocratic+detective



Happy Reading Friends!

Yo Ho Ho and A Bottle of Fun! The History of the Pirate ( Costume)

Pirates  have been sailing the seven seas for time immemorial. Probably as long as there have been ships. As more than one classical scholar has joked...The first ship ever built was a merchant ship and the second ship ever built was a pirate ship. Ha Ha H...

OK moving on. 

Most of us aren't really into Classical Mediterranean, Greek or Roman Piracy. Snooooooze.

When I said, ...as a family we should dress up like pirates this year...

  No boring ol classical piracy for us, It's the "Golden Age" or nothin!    
           
If popular books...

 

T.V...
 

Black Sails: Starz. S'pretty good show, I didn't realize the F-word was used as a second language during the late 17th century

Movies...

 



 







 

Festivals...                                            

Fresno! Is there anything you can't do?!

This is my 248th Festival this Month

and Halloween costumes, are any indication of our love of all things pirate...and I think it is! Then yes, there is a definite attraction to the Golden Age of Piracy.

The "Pirate Costume" in all it's forms, can, and will vary from year to year depending on popular culture. But in it's core nucleus. "The Pirate Costume" In and of its self... has infinite possibilities. There's traditional Pirate, sexy Pirate, good Pirate, bad Pirate. The Captain, the crew, the captive, the wench, the Pirate King, the Pirate Queen. And on and on and on.

There are even Pirate costumes for kids, babies, dogs, and cats...Yes I know...kitties love Pirate costumes. They LOVE them! 









So Ladies lace up those bustles and head out to your favorite Halloween hangout. 
But remember when the clock strikes Midnight, 

and your with him...

 
But you think your with him...

It may be time to put down the rum and call it a night....Until next year, Happy Halloween everyone! 

Those Fun Victorians

In the third book, Whimsey and Co. move to their new home in the district of Highgate. It's down the street from the infamous and very real Highgate cemetery.
London is full of  cemeteries but Highgate (In my opinion) is the finest example of Victorian funerary architecture around. 

Highgate Cemetery or Indiana Jones Ride? 

From Wikipedia
  " The cemetery in its original form opened in 1839, as part of a plan to provide seven large, modern cemeteries, now known as the "Magnificent Seven", around the outside of central London. The inner-city cemeteries, mostly the graveyards attached to individual churches, had long been unable to cope with the number of burials and were seen as a hazard to health and an undignified way to treat the dead."  

London's population was expanding, both the living and the dead, so they built some super-cemeteries and made it into a whole popular culture thing. I think the use of the word "Big Production" would not be an over estimation of the all out pomp and circumstance that went into the funerals of the day.

Though inspired by sad circumstances. The Victorian funeral era certainly laid a rich, and historic foundation for the 20, and 21st Century Goth culture. As we can all appreciate the architecture,clothing, fabrics,sculpture, landscaping and traditions the Victorians put forth.     

There was even a railway called the London Necropolis Railway, that ran from Waterloo Station to Brookwood Cemetery, 23 miles outside of London in Surrey. The train carried passengers of both varieties back and forth for 87 years. But in the end the project was viewed as unsuccessful for many reasons and on the night of 16–17 April 1941, the London terminus was badly damaged in an air raid and rendered unusable.

The Midnight Society writes.. 
Being buried in one of the Magnificent Seven’s cemeteries was a costly affair that demonstrated social status as much as a willingness to commemorate their loved ones in the most ostentatious way possible. As the garden cemeteries appealed to the middle class, attention was paid to the flora, fauna, and even the monuments were (and still are) unprecedented in their elaborateness and elegance. As an art history nerd, 19th century sculpture sends me all a-twitter with excitement; add some verdurous foliage — ivy, creeper, lush hornbeam and yew, cypress, ferns, bluebells, holly — and you have your allocated plot for eternity nestled in a garden where butterflies, bees, foxes, even deer wander through. Victorians thought this treatment “took away the gloom of the grave,” and given the precedent, the Magnificent Seven became veritable paradises on earth..

The Victorians placed a great importance on death and dying. Daniel Pool writes in his book " What Jane Austen Ate and Charles Dickens Knew"  In some rural communities the ritual began even before one died, with the ringing of the "passing bell" in the parish church to signal that a member of the community lay on his or her deathbed."

Do I hear bells? 

 Another interesting Victorian funerary rule, was that each mourner, depending on their relation to the deceased, had a specific amount of calendar time that they had to remain in mourning, black clothes and the works. it ranged from 6 weeks on up. Some even making it a life long commitment. 

Only 40 more years and I can take off this dress. 

 So to commemorate Whimsey's new and very quiet neighbors down the street, and also because it's the Halloween Season, I thought I would share a few facts about Victorian mourning practices...
and hey how did this wallaby get into Highgate?!

G'day Mate!